The saying that two wrongs do not make a right ring true here, though in a different way. A yelling spree breeds hurtful words which in turn complicates and redirect an already worrisome situation. It has never been known to attain any significance, how about avoiding it?
Listen to understand
Yes, we agree that you listen. But how about focusing on what is being said and what not to say? Hear what the person is saying, understand what he or she feels is the problem, acknowledge that the person feels this way. This is the first step to dealing with a situation.
Getting caught up and overly worked up in an already emotionally charged situation makes you lose focus of the situation. Try to remain calm, take a deep breath when you feel tense.
Reflect respect towards the other person
Often times, we do what is necessary but it does not feel like much. Contempt can be felt in your facial expression, your body stance and your attitude. This is known to trigger reactions that do not help in controlling a situation.
It might not be your intention but smiling can sometimes be read wrongly. Humour does work in some situations but you don’t want to pick the wrong day where it backfires, so avoid smiling.
Words that demands compliance are better avoided as they only end up irritating the other person further or you if the case was reversed.
Here is one last thing to always to:
Discharging your own stress
It is a lot of work and you deserve to feel better. Talk to someone, take a walk, do something, anything. Be sure to not keep the emotions locked in.